My Life Goals ft. My Anxiety Story

May 21, 2016

Hello Hi everyone!

There are a few things that going through my mind for the past few years. I have a goals. A future plans. The things that I want to do, things that I want to achieve. I don't usually talk much about it to people but I think it is about time to share some of it with you guys since you are also part of it.

Be happy.
- I know it sounds weird but being happy is actually the first on my list. Because i'm battling with anxiety sometimes (nothing severe), so I always be hard on myself, I'm worried about unreasonable thing, which later put me into the unhappy mode for a few days. That happened a few times in a year. Not that i'm not happy now, I do. But sometimes I can't run away from the fact that I have this 'overthinking' habits that I need to throw away. Can you believe it if I tell you that I think about random things on random time? Such as:

  • I don't eat much these days, but why do I look fat?
  • I want to walk across the road for a shortcut, but what if I got hit by a car and die today?
  • OMG will I ever get married?
  • Will my future husband stays with me forever? Will he ever cheated on me if I'm not good enough?
  • Will I get my dream job?
  • Do I even have a dream job?
  • Do I look nice today? I don't think I look nice today.
  • What am I good at?
And the list goes on and off, and my mood swing on and off as well. I got panic and cry sometimes. When that happened, either I didn't get much sleep, or I will sleep all day long. If it last for 3-5 days, My mind will then turned into a depression mode for a few days. But it will never last more than a week. But it sure will come back in a month later. And it never stop permanently, and will always come back. Share with me if you suffering the same problem. I need to know.

Love myself, people surrounding, and in everything I do.
- This is also part of handling my anxiety. I need to stay positive, and love every single things that I do. Life is too short for worrying too much on the things that might not going to happen. Enjoy the life every single moment of it. I need to throw away all those negativity. We don't need that, nobody's need that.

Remember my Creator.
- For Muslims, remember Allah SWT. I know i'm not a perfect Muslim, yet. Slowly but surely I will. Nothing is more important than remembering who's your Creator. No matter how rich you are, how successful you are, never stop praying. If you remember Him, He sure will remember you. I guess this is also one of the reason why I keep having these 'worry-feeling', it is because I forgot who I am, who I belong to sometimes. I need to come back, to the right path.

Chasing my dreams.
- There are a lot of things that I need to achieve. I can't tell you specifically, since I still had a long way to go. But enough telling that I enjoy blogging, I love my readers and my internet friends, and I want to maintain it that way. Maybe make it grow, meeting a lot of people out there, sharing information together. Let see what's going to happen on the next few years, who knows maybe I get 5millions pageviews per day haha! 

Stay Motivated, and Be Inspired.
- There is nothing stressful than losing your motivation. When the anxiety kicks back, I've lost interest in everything I do. Lack of motivation, and I'm living my life like a walking corpse! No direction.

Never be afraid.
- My biggest problem in life is, I always afraid. Afraid of losing, afraid of rejection, afraid of meeting new people, afraid of approaching, and so on. I don't really have a strong reason why I'm afraid, since sometimes I can also be very confident. I can do my presentation in class without any problem and get the highest mark in class. Sometimes I can approach strangers and talk like I knew them for years. I also joined a group of theater and did a performance on the stage in front of hundreds of people. Sounds fine, right? But sometimes I'm dead afraid of everything. Not sure why, maybe it has something to do with my anxiety? 

What are your goals? Share with me.
I would like to know :)

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